Otherwise, press on my little bloggy critters...
Once upon a time in
After the young prince left, the queen (that's me) went into the restroom to straighten her crown and fluff her exquisite golden hair in the mirror. This incredibly lovely queen (ok, I'm pushing it...just trying to make it interesting here) looked down at the
It was smeared all over the
Now, maybe you're thinking that the poor little fella didn't know what he was doing. Well, this boy was not exactly a toddler or even a young child. He was 13 years old! In my expert opinion (see official certificate above), 13 is plenty old enough to go to the bathroom without shitting all over everything.
Even as a very small child, if I had an accident of a caca nature, I had the sense to tell my mom that I needed some help with said accident. I knew enough not to just leave it there on the toilet like some macabre art project.
Since there was no evidence of a clean-up attempt, I can only assume that this youngster went home with dookey smeared all over his butt and legs. I venture to predict that this dude will remain a virgin until he is properly potty-trained.
Can you just imagine the first time he pulls something like this when he's over at a girlfriend's house? Imagine that he's anticipating a little horizontal mambo since the girlfriend's parents are out of town. The young couple has a lovely candlelit burrito dinner, after which the boy goes into the bathroom. A short time later, the girl goes into the restroom to "freshen up" in anticipation of their upcoming romantic interlude. She looks down and sees fresh doody all over her toilet.
Methinks that this would be an instant mood killer, especially since she will have to clean it up before her parents get home. I hypothesize that the young prince ain't getting no action tonight. In the slightly paraphrased words of the Soup Nazi, "No sex for you!"
So, the moral of this tale is: The shit goes IN the toilet, dude!