She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile. She's almost human. It's.....THE OPTO-MOM!!!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Ramada


A hooker who goes by the name, “Milkshake” was arrested with her cohort, “Sparkle,” at a Ramada Inn in Waterloo, Iowa.
Allegedly, the police were tipped off that Milkshake and Sparkle had an ad on craigslist, advertising their, ummmm, bidness.

Police called the number, and an undercover policeman was told to go to the Ramada Inn, where he was offered a BJ for $200.

TWO-HUNDRED DOLLARS? Holy gonorrhea lips, Batman!!! I have to say that Sparkle is a pretty young lady, but Milkshake looks like she’s been blended a little too long, if you know what I mean. She looks kinda rough for a 22-year-old.

Perhaps they should advertise like this genius of marketing techniques:


Samantha Jo Daniel, 18, also from Iowa, was arrested in a sting operation after she wrote her hooking advertisement on the wall of an apartment elevator. "Will Fuck for $," with her phone number.

It's really pretty smart, if you think about it. The ad is concise and to the point.

Also, she's cut out the bane of the hooker's existance...the pimpy middleman, and she operates with low overhead. No pesky paper or fancy flyers for this gal.

Oh, no. All she needs is a magic marker and her womanly "assets."

And why am I feeling the urge to sing, "Love in an Elevator?" Perhaps because this ho looks at least 20 years older than Steven Tyler, and she's only 18!

To be honest with you, I had no idea that Iowa was becoming a hub of prostitutional activity.

I guess with this damn economy...


  1. Love that flag! Not that I'd pay for it, but if I did, they sure as heck wouldn't be getting my money. I guess I'm just picky like that.

  2. Now THAT right there is some funny $hit!!!

  3. Vinny - We know you only like the high-class hos!

    Reckmonster - Thank you, dahlin'!

    Oilfield - Maybe this will encourage you NOT to answer these ads. (wink, wink)

  4. Holy Crap! It's getting rough even for pimps! With craigslist they're a thing of the past. (brownie points for the robin homage btw)

  5. omg girl. that was awesome. and I'm totally going to do my hair like milkshakes. oh yes I am, and you can't stop me.

  6. LMFAO that's pretty damn funny and quite pathetic of them. Just like the dude in NY a few years ago who was distributing business cards to random people to sell weed.

  7. lmao milkshakes bangs...she must be a strawberry milkshake...hey wait that last pic looks like my ex sister in nm pretty close though...muahaha

  8. I guess thats what being desperate means....I have a suggestion for them though, why not work as pornstars, they can probably earn more that way hehe...

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