She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile. She's almost human. It's.....THE OPTO-MOM!!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Rock On, Extremely Drunk Dude!

This past weekend, the husband and I went to a local festival where they were having 3 tribute bands.

For those who don’t know, tribute bands are bands that dress and perform like a famous band. It’s basically for people who are too cheap to go see the real thing. [Pointing discreetly at husband.]

First was an Eagles band, and then an excellent AC/DC band. The final band, Guns 4 Roses started at 10:00 p.m.

Hey, bet you can't guess which band Guns 4 Roses pays homage to.  Hint: It‘s not Aerosmith.

Anyway, by this time, some of the people at the festival were pretty toasted.

And by toasted, I mean drunk as hell, shit-faced, sloshed, plastered, juiced, three sheets to the wind.

And no, this is not an autobiography. Assholes.

The dude who is the focus of this post was all of the above, and probably some I couldn’t think of. I think he may have also been a crackhead, except he wasn’t skinny. Maybe he’s new at being a crackhead, and just hasn’t lost the weight yet. Hmmmmm.

So, after watching the drunk for a while, I thought of you, my bloggy friends, and whipped out my camera. Here is a series of photos, along with a narrative by yours truly (that’s me!).

Let's show some skin and get it started up in this mo-fo!

He's gonna do a trick!  He's gonna do a trick!
Eh, never mind.  He's just gonna hold up that pole for now.
Whoa!  Somebody moved the damn sidewalk!

That's right, buddy.  Drink a little more.  #nothelpful

"Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground."
AC/DC sang that, right?

Drop it like it's HOT!

And for our final picture, I just couldn't resist popping my sweaty head up in there.
Before I go, I would like to say that my favorite vendor at the festival (besides the funnel cake stand, of course) was Black Top Revolution.  Go check them out here.

They had some awesome shirts, rockin' boots, and really cool jewelry.  I totally need some of this stuff to appropriately portray my rock 'n' roll lifestyle, so y'all go buy some gear and make sure to tell them I sent you; and PLEASE stress that they should send me some free shit.

Go, do it now!  Thanks!


  1. hahahaha. Loved the captions. You crack me up.

  2. Guns 4 Roses...that would be Poison, right? Nah, just kidding! I used to love me some hair bands. Sounds like a fun night!

  3. That entertainment was probably better than the bands. Drunk people crack me up. Loved your captions! Thank you for the early morning laugh!