She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile. She's almost human. It's.....THE OPTO-MOM!!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Math Lesson for Dummies

Sometimes the vast stupidity of people just amazes me!  A few weeks ago, I was shopping for school clothes for Miss Smarty Pants.  I was in a store in the mall that was having a 40% off sale that day, and I saw another customer picking out stuff with her 2 daughters.  They had close to $500 worth of stuff: backpacks, matching lunchboxes and water bottles, clothes, and shoes. 

The lady turned to me, because I guess I looked like an effin' pathetic dumbass, and she felt sorry and wanted to help me.  Here is how that conversation went:

Genius Lady:  Did you know that next weekend is tax-free weekend?  We drove over an hour to get here, thinking it was THIS weekend, and I just found out it's not.

Silly Little Ole Me:  No, I knew it was next weekend.

Genius Lady:  You know, I think I'm just going to come back next weekend to buy all this stuff because I want to take advantage of the tax free deal.  Did you realize that you would get all of this tax free if you just wait until next weekend to buy it?

Silly Little Ole Me:  Yes, but this 40% off sale ends today.

Genius lady:  But next weekend you won't have to pay any taxes on all this stuff!

Silly Little Ole Me:  {mumbling under my breath}  My Gawd, who hit her with the stupid stick?

Sounds like a great idea, right?  We won't have to pay those evil sales taxes if we just come NEXT weekend instead.  We will save sooooo much money!  (Is the sarcasm coming through here?  Someone really needs to invent a sarcasm font.) 

The problem is, the sale that day was 40% off, and the tax-free weekend would have saved her a whopping 8.25%.

I tried to explain this to her, but she was insistent that she would get a better deal by coming back the next weekend and paying full price for the items, but without tax.  She almost got a little rude with me, so I decided to just let Ms. Einstein wallow in her obtuseness.

Now, let's break this down, shall we?  For these purposes, we will assume her purchases would equal exactly $500.

If she bought that day and got the 40% off discount, she would get $200 off.
$500 - $200 = $300
Add in that crazy sales tax ($24.75) and the grand total is $324.75.

If she came back the next weekend, she would pay $500.  No tax added, but you're paying full price!

Hmmmmmm.  Now which is the better deal, $324.75 or $500? 

Have you ever seen a commercial for a stinkin' 8% off sale?  Would you drop what you're doing to hurry out to a store if they advertised that everything in the store was 8% off?  Whoopidee-friggin-do!  Hell, I'm not even going to put on my bra and venture out of the house for less than 30%.

Yet every year on tax free weekend, the stores and malls are absolutely crammed with people looking to save some "big" money.  I mean, it's worse than 6:00 a.m. on Black Friday at an Arkansas Wal-Mart.

I saw the lady putting her stuff back as I was at the register getting my 40% off of everything.  That should teach me to talk to strangers.  I had to go straight home and take a bath, just in case some of her ignorance rubbed off on me.


  1. The sarcasm came through loud and clear! lmao! Well, you know, some people just don't get 40 is more than 15 (or whatever the tax's15% in Canada). You kind of have to feel sorry for her...she'll be making the trip next weekend, will be paying for gas a 2nd time, paying for meals a 2nd time, and possibly staying in hotel a 2nd. time. Good thing she's saving the sarcasm coming through? :)

  2. Loved the sarcism. hahaha. what a freaking dumbwad. I bet her kids can pull a whole bunch over on her.

  3. Yeah, I thought about hiding all of the stuff she was putting back so it wouldn't be there when she came back the next week. Sorry kids, that's what you get for having a dumb whore for a mom.

    Sorry, that was probably uncalled for, but she acted soooo superior, like I just didn't get it, ya know?

  4. Oh my god!!!! I was nodding my head through your entire blog!!! I used to work in retail and you would not believe how hard sales math is to people. You should have hidden all her stuff...especially if she was getting rude with you made the 8% sale next weekend!