She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile. She's almost human. It's.....THE OPTO-MOM!!!

Friday, May 27, 2011

World's Worst Names for a Metal Band

As some of you may know, my husband is in a rock band.

When they started trying to think of a name for the band, they went through several options. The first name they came up with was Dy-Nasty. Like Dynasty, but with a little more “nasty.”

The next name that they considered was Dirty Dick and the Four Skins, but that was nixed because they only had 4 people in the band, and none of them were named Dick.  Damn!  And I really liked that one.

They finally settled on SnakeBone, which is a good name for a rock band because you’ve got “Snake,” which is kinda sinister sounding, and you’ve got “Bone,” which is creepy.

Yeah. Rockers are into skulls and shit like that.

Because my mind works in mysterious ways, I decided to think up some of the WORST names for a rock/metal band.  And share them with you, because I'm generous like that.

Metallicious - Kinda like Bootylicious, but more metal-y.

Rainbow Zombies - Here is a pic to depict the awesomeness of the Rainbow Zombies.

Wretched Kangaroo Abortion - I may have to trademark this.

Buffalo Ballet - And that’s totally NOT a Kirstie Alley reference.

Blonde Spider Apocalypse - Oooh, scary...and yet still sexy, don't ya think?

Shaved Kitten - Ok, I must say that this one is pretty fuckin’ great!
Meow, muthafucker.

Drunken Prius - For the metal band gone “green.”

Immortal Vogue Princess - For the metal band gone gay.

The Chunky Ferrets - I'm thinking Sammy Hagar could front this band.

Head Bangtastic - Mixture of head banging and fantastic-ness.

The Cheesy Skull Boys - Skull for the spooky factor, and cheese because, well…cheese is hella awesome!

Cocaine Diaper Addiction - This reminds me of my uncle.  Trust me, you don't wanna know.

Black Avalanche Band - Has kind of a cool vibe.

Iron Unicorn - Not your everyday sparkly unicorn.

Ass of Lucifer - My husband’s totally going to try and steal this one.

On that note, I think we’re done here.


  1. I say go with the Ass of Lucifer. They could do church parties. lol

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  3. If those are original, you have out done yourself!
    I went back through the list trying to pick a favorite and there are too many great ones. You may want to start trade marking, most of those are viable.

    (edited for typeo)

  4. Oilfield - And school festivals!

    Todd - Yes, those are all original. I also had "Unicorn Apocalypse," but after Googling it for a picture to work with, I found out that there is a softball team by that name. Women's softball would be a lot more interesting if they all had names like that.

  5. God, those were hilarous. I might have to still your brain.

  6. hahahhahahaha! just dying here! All are sooooo funny!

  7. Definitely Ass of Lucifer. Can you image the names of the CDs? Ass Of Lucifer: Kiss Me Where The Sun Don't Shine...or Ass Of Lucifer: Take It Like A Man.
    Ok, I'm having too much fun with that one.

  8. hmm here is one more CD... ass of lucifer: Bend over and kiss it...haha

  9. If Wretched Kangaroo Abortion is a bad name for a band then I must be completely out of touch.

  10. RAINBOW ZOMBIES! how could you go wrong with a name like that?

  11. iz thikz u shood kal yo bamd da blak jeenyisiz.

  12. I'm not sure how I'd like to hire you to write for lyrics for my band... well when I had one. I'm glad I only worried about the drums and everyone else worried about the naming and the non musical part. I'm glad I didnt meet you back then to get suggestions for names lol

  13. Dazee - Thanks, chica.

    XLMIC - I killed you with Lucifer's ass! Muahahah!

    Mejis - How about "The Burn Down Below?"

    LivingDeadNurse - I like "Hot Asses and Sulphuric Gases."

    Elliot - Maybe I should have named this post BEST Names for a metal band.

    Vinny - I know, right? I'd buy a ticket.

    Blak - Or should I call you Mr. Geneyis? I was saving that one for your band.

    PorkStar - Oh, I'm hell on lyrics! Start that band back up, baby