Well, this oil spill in the Gulf is certainly a big mess. They've got everyone from environmentalists to SWAT teams down there trying to figure out how to clean this mess up. I don't know what SWAT teams have to do with it, but perhaps they had a special class on giant oil slicks during their SWAT training.
Anyhoo, as with many cases, all they need to do to solve this problem is consult a redneck. Any redneck worthy of the name knows what to do with an oil spill. Just imagine that you are changing the oil in your car and have a spill on the floor of your garage. What does a good redneck do? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? You add kitty litter to it, of course! For those of you who are uninformed about such matters, cat litter has more uses than clumping up cat pee and making little pebbled poop sausages. Apparently, due to the clay granules in kitty litter, it also has the amazing ability to absorb oil! Rednecks across America have known this little tidbit for years. If they would only let some of the Louisiana folks take care of this instead of sending bureaucrats from Washington, this would all be fixed by now.
Now, all we need is a few hundred thousand tons of kitty litter. I don't think it's necessary to have that fancy shmancy litter that's made for multiple cat households or the kind that releases a fresh potpourri scent whenever it is stepped upon by little paws. No, just a plain ole generic litter will do fine. They even make some environmentally safe cat litter that would be perfect for this job! Dump it in there and watch it soak up that oil! And clean up will be a breeze.....just let it sink to the bottom of the ocean and serve as rocks. It will be like one giant aquarium for the Gulf wildlife!
I really can't believe no one else has thought of this solution. Maybe I really am above average like my momma used to tell me. If there are any more national crises, please feel free to contact me, and I'll see what kind of solution I can formulate. You're welcome!
On a serious note, our prayers go out to the families of the workers who were killed. May God bless you and everyone affected by this disaster. Can I get an "AMEN?"