She walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile. She's almost human. It's.....THE OPTO-MOM!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

I Gots Guacamole In My Eye!!!

Hey there, bloggy land! As anyone who works with the public can tell you, dealing with people can be ummm….well…interesting. In fact, here are some tales that are just too interesting not to share. Let’s start the week off with some glaucoma stories, shall we?

I had a patient that told me that his previous doctor told him that he needed his eye pressure checked regularly because he was at risk for guacamole. Just try to maintain a professional demeanor when someone tells you that!

Guacamole!!!  Don't get it in your eye!

There was another patient that had glaucoma (or guacamole, depending on who you talk to) that refused treatment because he wanted to wait until marijuana was legalized. Ummm, would you like to go ahead and start learning Braille now? Because despite what your cousin in California told you, smoking pot will not “cure” your glaucoma. Though it’s true that marijuana can lower your eye pressure a few points, it is not enough to effectively treat the disease. In fact, you would have to smoke 8-10 marijuana cigarettes a day to achieve the same results as putting an eyedrop in once a day. So drop that argument, Cheech!

Cheech Pictures, Images and Photos
Cheech - the same color as guacamole.  Coincidence?  I think NOT!

I absolutely adore my patients because they make me smile each and every day!


  1. This is funny! I'm a nurse. I've been told not to blog about patients. So I'm just going to live vicariously through you. Can you promise to deliver these extremely hilarious stories every second day, or so???
    You are funny!...oh wait, I already said that, didn't I?...

  2. Thanks, Sandra! I'm self-employed, but was still very careful not to give out any specifics. In fact, the second guy's name wasn't even really Cheech. How clever am I now?

  3. Hey! Thanks for visiting me! Guacamole, that's toooo funny...LOL! And don't worry, I'm posting another part of the story tomorrow...

  4. guacamole. that is just priceless.

  5. This cracks me up! I've just stumbled upon your blog and I'm now following along with you. I can't wait to read more.

    Have a great week,

  6. Thanks Candace! Nice to have you! We try to have fun over here on The Dark Side! lol

  7. That's hilarious! I hope I never get guacamole in my eye.

  8. Thanks so much for stopping by to see me! That was Houston in the photos and next time, I think it would be a blast to meet you there. We're practically neighbors, I see!

    Have a great week, Candace

  9. Love at first sight...I mean, read!

    I don't think I could keep a straight face. Last week in Wal*Mart, a little girl yelled out "hey dad, look at these hot wieners in a jar!" Yeah. Need I say more?

    Thanks for foller'n (that's a Texas word!) me! I'm foller'n you back!

  10. Hot weiners in a jar? I think I've had those! No, wait...that was in a BAR, not a JAR.

  11. Love guac! Will follow you too!

  12. There is no way I could not have laughed! Thx for visitin N.E.O. Moms. Once I get my spawn back in school I can actually pay attention to my blog again.