DON’T TOUCH MY COOKIES, BITCH!
Hersha Howard, a 31-year-old Florida woman, certainly loves her Girl Scout cookies.
|Do NOT F*ck with her Thin Mints.|
She woke up to find that her Thin Mints were missing, so she began chasing her roommate around the room with a pair a scissors. She then proceeded to beat her roomie with a board and a sign. I wonder if the sign said, “Chill out, bitch. You can always buy more cookies!”
OREOS GIVE HER OH-OH-OH-ORGASMS
This story involves Gabi Jones, a 25-year-old woman from Colorado.
|Gabi Jones, a woman who has apparently had MANY orgasms!|
Oh, sorry! I got distracted there for a minute. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to develop this particular disorder.
Good Lord, this is my dream disease! I could sit around and eat ice cream and pizza and Reese’s peanut butter cups all day AND HAVE ORGASMS! Who gives a shit if you get fat? Because you wouldn’t need a man…just Doritos.
This concludes your Newsflash for the week. Tune in next week for more!